Define Your Own Happy

happyflower

I recently decided to reread The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I couldn’t get into it the 1st couple of attempts mainly because I prefer to read fiction over nonfiction *gasp* but honestly speaking, I couldn’t relate much to the author, or where she was coming from, not by a long shot. However, that tends to be the case with many best-selling books, especially the entrepreneurial ones…so, that was just an excuse too. So, after I got my mojo back, finally coming out of that blasted haze, I decided I needed to make a better effort at my own personal development.

Then, after 3 random encounters and discussions about happiness, I decided to take up some research on the side about the subject. Also, I think that in order to be fully present and truly experience all the adventures, (and misadventures) that life and business have to offer, you have to already be at a place that welcomes happiness.

So here’s my starting point…

When I think about defining Happiness I don’t believe a Wikipedia look-up will do me any justice. So, I’ve decided to start with my current conclusions surrounding happiness, and grow from there.

1) You Define Your Happy. I’d like to believe that we have some control over happiness. With that being said, I suppose I’m referring to circumstances and our emotional response to them. Rubin refers to some research that says, “in determining one’s level of happiness, genetics accounts for 50%; life circumstances…account for about 10 to 20 percent; and the remainder is a product of how a person thinks and acts.”

In another instance, I’m referring more to owning your definition of happy; that means making big girl decisions to attain happiness on your own terms, and claiming said happiness like you know you should…I’m just about tired of the whole “you complete me” “you’re my other half” spiel and the singlism  that comes down on anyone who dares claim happiness without a partner in the picture.  Even if they did have a partner, feeling free to be happy despite opposition to what he looks like, or whether or not she chooses to have a child, or a certain job, etc. Owning your definition of happy means not leaving it in someone else’s hands to determine what happiness means for you.

 

2) You Have to Believe You Deserve Happiness

 

3) You Have to Pursue Said Happiness Relentlessly (Because it’s fleeting)

 

4) You Have to Give Negative Fudge Sickles About Anyone who dares to convince you otherwise (In reference to point #2)

 

5) You Have to Consciously put forth an effort to Maintain Happiness, happiness goes up and down, I also think it’s an emotion based on the external with that being said, I don’t care what anyone says, money most certainly can contribute to maintaining happiness.

 

6) Your Definition of Happy may indeed be someone else’s definition of selfishness ( in which case refer back to point #4)

 

7) You’ll probably do better to seek Joy and Contentment –Ha! I know, it seems like I just totally contradicted myself, but I do believe there’s a time and a place for all three. I hope to dig more into that in blog posts to come (and with more research).
 

Until next time…

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So, until I cycle back around to this topic, I’d love to here your take on Happiness. What do you believe to be true about happiness?  How do you define Happy?

Not Alone

stonesThere are so many things I don’t want that I can’t remember what I want.

I couldn’t help but to chuckle at those words. In one line, that pretty summed up the raw emotions I’ve been feeling these past two weeks. More than just a case of the blehs I was in a serious haze not sure how I got there, and not entirely certain how to get out of it.

Didn’t I just activate Moon, my inner superheroine? Was this a form of self-sabotage once again? I excited myself so much about the possibilities of really feeling free to be me only to second guess everything I just laid on the table.

And so, I did what any self-respecting bookworm does for escape…I read.  It was the only thing I had enough motivation to do. I started reading my newest collection of short stories by Audrey and found immediate relief in the line above.  I wanted to read more, get lost somewhere in beautifully written prose so I could find my happy place and get out of my funk. And I swear, it doesn’t seem like anyone else goes through these funks but me. Right? Right!

I mean I know my why, I didn’t have any naysayers all up in my grill trying to throw me in a whirlwind. Seriously, there wasn’t enough positive psychology in the world to get me back in my game as soon as I wanted to be. And once I realized that that no matter how much I pushed or pulled, whatever it was I was going through, I needed to go through it.

It was time to be silent and listen.

In that silence, certain slices of life that I admittedly wasn’t putting as much tlc in to came front and center. By burying myself in work, I slowly started to creep into completely neglecting…me. Journal?  Prayer? Exercise? huh? what? Enter a rebellion of sorts from my heart. Just that fast it’s so easy to get caught up in the fast pace of everything around you, trying to keep up with the changes, trying to stay ahead of the game… Work/Life Balance feels difficult to achieve. The whole idea of a perfectly balanced scale doesn’t seem realistic at all to me and so I strive for Work/Life Integration. But the process to get to even that sacred place (if it does truly exist) is work in and of itself(and I don’t mean work with a negative connotation).

I’m not exactly sure what point I was trying to make when I started this post (Just keeping it real with you all) but a few things ran across my mind.

1) If you’re feeling like you have a laundry list of “don’t wants” and it’s sucking you dry then it’s time to start a daily practice of gratitude. Writing something, anything about the good and simple things that made your day…worth it, gets you in a better head space period.

2) Don’t settle for good enough. (Take that however you wish).

3) You are not alone. You’re not the only one who gets overwhelmed, and suddenly becomes frozen in the midst of change, you’re not the only one who becomes afraid of tomorrow hoping you can live up to its expectations, you’re not the only one who second guesses themselves, you’re not the only one who fails, you’re not the only one who wonders if you’re the only one who feels the way you feel…and again from my heart to yours, You are not alone.

 

Until next time…

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It’s A Ride

rollercoasterIt’s a lot like falling in love for the first time. It bulldozes you seemingly out of nowhere and all rationality has flown out the door. You try to go through the motions as if nothing has changed; only everything has changed. Your nose is wide open and who you were before you emerged from the silent haze that fills your entire being is no longer. You can’t turn back, it’s too late for you, and even if you could you’d be yearning, always questioning, always wondering about the possibilities.

It wakes you up in the wee hours of the morning, commanding your attention, peeling back your resistance, answering your questions to ‘why’.  Suddenly you’re motivated, and restless, you want to fight, and you want to give up at the same time, and for the life of you as much as you try you can’t restrain yourself. So, you conclude, sometimes you just have to be a little crazy, there’s no other explanation.

And just like falling in love, those feelings subside. You can think straight again, things that you didn’t notice before scream some sense into your crazy behind. Was this the right path to take? Was it all just a big mistake? It’s like a roller coaster ride. Seems so slow to climb and easy to fall down. Still, what a ride!

And just like love as it matures into something more than unnerving exhilaration brought on by what feels like fate, it’s a choice you make. Actually, you’re going to have to make a lot of choices. You’re going to have to make many decisions, sometimes life altering decisions. Sometimes there will be sacrifices, at your own expense. It can possibly be a forbidden type of love, or the kind no one believes in but you. It can possibly be peaches and cream, like everyday feels exciting and new.

It still lingers, the memories of the inexplicable collision that had you feeling head over heals. Softly whispering, answering your questions to ‘why’. Again, you’re motivated; it’s a piece of your life, it’s your story and you will absolutely, unapologetically tell it boldly-watch as it unfolds.  It’s scary and exciting and…

Oh, what a ride! This is what entrepreneurship feels like.

Until next time…

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Activation Time: A 1/2 Year Review

activationThis is a recap of the 1st half of the year, so I tend to get long-winded. You have been warned…

About the Blog

For those of you who are new, (or returning after a hiatus) to the blog put on your seat belt, I’m about to take you for a ride.

Asummermoon.com pretty much started as a recovery blog that I was encouraged to write by 2 of my former co-workers (my sister/friends) who thought it would be a healthy outlet for me as I was going through a transition. In time, I concluded that the experiences I documented were no longer just about me, but about the energy we all put out into the universe when we share pieces of ourselves via blogging and social media.

I later developed a vision for this blog which strives to Inspire Action despite fear, lack of confidence, and lack of experience; Revive Passion, despite trying to convince yourself that contentment and fulfillment belongs to everyone you bust your butt for and not yourself; and Empower the Inner Child inside, despite growing up in a society that does its best to stifle the very part of you that still believes in the power of dreams.

And now, I’ve finally written out a straight to the point mission statement, and in doing so I’m revealing my new tagline: Activate Your Inner SuperHeroine.

moonpwr

Moon Power! Property of Asummermoon.com

Meet ‘Moon’, my inner superheroine; she’s my nurtured and uninhibited inner child all grown up, sharing her light, and being the change.

You can read more about how I activate my inner superheroine in order to encourage and empower you to active your inner superheroine on my revamped about page.

This is the finished draft. My new header will showcase the digitized character design (with proper credits to the illustration team).

 

 

A special thanks to Shauna for the coaching and inspiration!

Alrighty then! So, I’m actually going to keep the rest pretty short as I seriously want to hear from you. Hit me up in the comment section below or on Twitter.

About Life

The theme for this year is: Choose To Dance

My word for the year is: Purpose

As I’ve shared before in previous reviews, I center most of my goals for the year around 6 areas or slices of life: Personal, Social, Physical, Spiritual, Professional, and Financial. Under each slice of life I set about 3 intentions to work on at the start of the year So my theme is in essence the vision I have for the year and the slices help me organize the steps I need to take in order to realize that vision in a balanced way.

I pretty much chucked most of the goals I set in January as they either no longer astonished me (like hire a bookkeeper) or they became somewhat muddied in clarity as to the ‘Why’ and therefore needed more TLC (trip to Kenya). So I’ll focus the rest of this blog on a few of the goals that stuck. I hired my own virtual assistant so I could focus on growing my social media management firm and in doing so I was able to bring on new teammates to help me grow the businesses of the clients we serve. I created a free toolkit for those wanting to know more about hiring a virtual assistant.Starting to have a better relationship with money. I made an investment in a long-term mentorship program. I’ve been meeting with an accountability every month. I see and feel the positive impact of both a mentor and accountability buddy.

My relationship with my mother and little sister has been better than it has ever been. I’ve been committed to a church ministry despite my ambivalence with church itself. I went on a workcation with plans for a real vacation alongside my companion aka ‘him’ in August, the 1st I’ve had since I’ve started my business almost 3 years ago.

So, that’s a quick recap of wins for year, (sprinkled with some realistic setbacks) thanks for reading to those of you who stuck around!

Again, I’d love to hear from you! What have you been up to these past 6 months?

 

Until next time…

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You Are What You’re Searching For

dancingmirror

It starts with incoherent thoughts, that later form into wonder and finally questions. There has to be someone who I can fully and truly relate to out there. Someone who “gets” me, someone I can vibe with, someone who already expresses what I’ve been trying to convey. But alas, they come close, but they just don’t drive it home for you. And that’s okay, because if you’re really honest with yourself, you need to get into your own element to find what you’re really searching for. So, how do you do that?

I’ve made it no secret, I’m an introvert. I’m hardly shy, but if I don’t get my alone time, and space, I get cranky. The problem is, as a mission-minded business owner, I can’t afford to stay to myself, it would be selfish, and I got thangs to do.  Still, admittedly, I struggle…so I searched. And luckily, there were women who understood the feelings. They got in their element and asked questions with me in mind. What would it take to get Lynn offline and sociable? 

I soon discovered that I do much better with intimate networking events that clearly have introverts in mind, or one-to-one and small group business matchups. It’s my comfort zone, and in my comfort zone I can be in my element, and when in my element, I’m good at helping other people get in their element too. Funny thing about being in your element, you start to grow more confidence and you find yourself better equipped to step out of your comfort zone to do bigger, bolder things.

The other day, my colleague asked me where do I find my inspiration for blog posts. So, here’s my answer. You are. You all are on so many levels. People fascinate me. Some people are so very beautiful to me, while others…well I sometimes wonder if their soul is possessed (psychopaths come to mind *shivers*)  I take to social media because it allowed me access to people from literally all over the world people I can’t find easily in my own neck of the woods. All very unique, yet so similar. And with that access I’m reminded of a fundamental truth, a wonderful teachable moment presented over and over again.

That while we can find our kindred, and they become friends, and accountability buddies, and coaches, and mentors…we are already the person we’ve been looking for our whole lives. We simply need to believe it, and continue to shape and mature that belief.

It’s nice, actually, I’d say it sparks hope and faith when we find people who have what we believe we want. It’s cool to drink from the cup of their overflowing success you thirst for, a blessing indeed. But at that end of the day, be you.

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!-Dr. Seuss

Here’s to seeing more of the real you this upcoming week. let’s inspire and empower each other with our authentic selves.

 

Until next time…

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