Seeing Yourself In Your Dreams Come True

dreamcatcher

I must confess, I am a dreamer. I get so lost in my dreams, that I sometimes forget to take care of myself…like get at least 6 hours of sleep kind of take care of myself. For most of my life, I’ve resented this about myself. Dreamers are lazy, dreamers are lost causes because they don’t get nothing done. So, I became a doer. I needed to be doing something, anything so that I wouldn’t be called a useless dreamer. And because I suppressed my dreams, I stopped dreaming of all the good things that made dreamers something positive, something more socially acceptable, if they had a breakthrough of course; a visionary. What’s worse, when I was told it was ok, (let that sink in for a second) to envision things, and instructed to then place these images of my visions on boards and such, naturally I resisted because well, why dream?

So, now with permission to dream, guess what I saw…good things for everyone else but me. That’s how you end up climbing ladders and finding that it’s leaning against the wrong building.(I believe that was Dave Ramsey who wrote that.)That’s how you end up moving your ladder to the next building, and then the next, and then the next.

I don’t think it’s wrong to help build up someone else’s dream. I believe there’s possibility in every encounter and every situation to uplift and learn from one another. But we do ourselves and those like us an injustice when we leave our own dreams out of the equation…when we don’t see ourselves in our highest light.

I am all onboard team get into action mode. But I don’t think we need to be rebels without a cause when we are essentially working towards a much in common goal-having a purposeful year (like every year) and fulfilling life. That life with purpose, that vision, that dream come true involves all of us, all of us seeing ourselves in that vision, in our dreams come true.

What does that mean practically speaking? It means seeing yourself 1st as someone who can own that dream home and indeed be debt free. Seeing yourself 1st as someone who is worthy of the prices you charge or the raise you deserve not because you were coached or mentored into it but because you believe you are worth every penny. Seeing yourself 1st as that Best-selling author, or that singer accepting her 1st grammy, or that loving mother who is still her husband’s “Signed, sealed, and delivered” so many years and stretch marks later, yet still herself-a woman, in the mix, or even that second chance at romance this time knowing how to love and be loved and even throwing in all that jazz that women like to read about in fiction novels just because…why not be a dream come true?

Practically speaking, it starts with a dream and yes, we, the dreamers are worthy…even dreamers are enough.

Until next time…Peace!

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Starting Your Journey Just As You Are Right Now

 

pathway

How many times have you found yourself saying, that you’ll try again next time?  That you’ll do better starting tomorrow, or next week, next month, next year? Now, how many times have you rinsed and repeated that phrase every single time that next whatever came rolling around? Personally, I’ve practiced this habit more times than I could count…

Then finally one day, I began asking myself why. Why do I keep self-sabotaging? It had to be that, I recognized the common symptoms; they usually looked like procrastination-itis, and such, so why? Did I really not want to try again or do better?

I really began to contemplate my answers, scribbled down whatever random thought that came to my mind in my journal, beat myself up about my “lack of” and kept going about my day, still not do anything about anything. Then one day, I stopped ignoring the things I didn’t want to look at about myself and whatever it was I didn’t do that I was supposed to do…

When digging for my own why(s) I found that most of the time, my mirror of truth revealed that if I was going to triumph over the same old symptoms, I needed help. But, I felt guilty that I needed help. I felt guilty that I constantly fell short on the “Strong Woman” label, the so called “positive” stereotype I should be. So naturally, that led me to more stinking thinking, which led me to feeling and eventually becoming stuck. I knew that if I was going to breakthrough these thoughts, and feelings, I needed to breakdown my walls of guilt, pride, and fear (they seemed like good places to start).

Now here’s where we sometimes miss our lesson. We work to breakdown, while also thinking we need to tear down and become something new, something other than who we are because, well, the old us wasn’t cutting it. We learn our why but neglect to own up to our part in the process that brought us to our present “stuckness”. How did we get to the here and also since we’re trying to see the positive, what goodies did we bring along for the ride? You know goodies like our gifts, skills, talents, abilities…essence?

Transforming your mind, and ultimately your habits so to get busy living doesn’t have to feel so overwhelming that your dreams and goals becomes a laundry list of to-do’s that never get to-done. This is why I shared a post about hope when circumstances sometimes feel hopeless, when we sometimes feel that we ourselves are hopeless. (I figured I’d put the excerpt here again just in case you didn’t click the link).

“Yellow, a very special caterpillar, searches for more in life. She knows the pain of the climb. She knows that this is not for her. She knows the pain of the end of a relationship, but she will not let the pull of Stripe, her partner, make her do something she knows is wrong for her. Still, she does not know what is right for her. She trusts in herself that there must be something more in life. She wanders. And she meets a grey caterpillar spinning a cocoon. Thinking that he must be in trouble to be doing something so peculiar, she offers to help him. He signals that he is doing what he needs to do to be a butterfly. Yellow is excited. And when she asks what is a butterfly, she is told that this, a butterfly, is what she truly is. Puzzled, she questions how such a transformation is possible.

‘How can I believe there’s a butterfly inside…when all I see is a fuzzy worm?’

‘You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.’

‘You mean to die?’

‘…What’s really you will still live. Life is changed, not taken away.’”

Last post, I asked you are you living? This post I wanted to reassure you that you in your true splendor didn’t have to forsake who you really are in order to do so. Just start right where you are, just as you are. You wouldn’t want to take nothing from your journey, now would you?

 

Until next time…Peace!

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Flickr Credit

Are You Living?

bertice berry quotes

Are you living? I’ve come across this questions many times and now, quickly, almost reflexively answer it the same. This time I read the question while scrolling an e-newsletter sent by one of the Love Yourself Love Your Business Speakers, Izzy. This time, I decided to pause and really think about what that question really meant and why I felt qualified to answer yes. Not only answer yes, but whole-heartedly believe in my yes, even if I stood in that belief alone.

I think there are many well-intentioned people out there who mean us no harm when they try to convince us of the path they believe will be best for us. I believe we are well-intentioned when we let them. It’s almost too easy to look up to those who accomplish many things deemed ‘better than average’ in our society, just as simple to follow what they say. But I’ve always wondered if we stripped away the titles, and the accolades, the prestige, and privilege, would we still see such a person the same?

Likewise, if we didn’t climb steep mountains, or go backpacking around the world and wrote books about it, or build schools in developing countries, abandon our hometowns and detach from our comforts…are we unadventurous? I don’t believe so.

Apparently, many people don’t either, because when books like The Happiness Project become bestsellers, and massively popular it proves that deep down we either believe or desire to believe that we can indeed become extraordinary individuals even while experiencing a seemingly ordinary life.

Then, living, is an inside work that comes to reveal itself through our outward expressions.

We either create a career for ourselves, or we take up a job.

We either wake up and pay attention, or we remain in a haze wondering how the time flew by and situations caught us unawares.

We either believe in our inner superheroines/heroes, or we refuse to accept our gifts and spin in circles.

We either pursue, stumble often, get back up and pursue some more, or we fall down and become a part of the agenda to keep each other at the bottom of the barrel.

So, if living is as an inside work that overflows out, then it becomes a choice you make everyday. Everyday you can choose to embody Your best.

Living also requires love. Seeing love, showing love, being love.

So, are you choosing to live? Or rather, in what areas of your life Are you choosing NOT to live? And what can, and are you willing to do this moment,  today, this week, this month, to get started living now?

Until next time…Peace!

 

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There Isn’t A One-Size Fits All Life

perfect dress

Every answer you seek won’t come in the form of a ‘How-To’.

And as scary as this may seem, it isn’t supposed to be that way.

When our lives have suddenly spiraled out of control, or at the very least, have fallen to an abyss of out of our comfort zone, it’s easy for us to look for a fast fix. ‘If I do step A and then B, I’ll get solution C, and all will be well again (at least that’s what the instructions say will likely happen).

Sometimes this works, but because it’s a temporary Band-Aid over a deep wound the issue tends to resurface, (sometimes with a vengeance) and right back to square one again you go still seeking answers, searching for someone to fix your life, and being angry at someone because they are unwilling to fit neatly in the box you’ve hand-carved for them when in fact you do not appreciate yourself being exposed, the same self that doesn’t fit into the box society has placed you in. It’s a vicious and draining cycle…

I met a guy once upon a moon, who was…accident prone when it came to relationships. He slipped and fell in to them, clumsily handled fragile hearts, and eventually crashed and burned. In a fit of frustration at the beginning of his new spiritual journey he cried out, God, why don’t you just make me a puppet so I can stop F*ing up! He concluded that the world would be a better place if we weren’t left to our own devices. I did not judge, most times I don’t feel I have any right to judge so instead I retorted, ‘sorry Pinocchio your wish came true, you’re a real boy now!’ only it sounded more like this well, at this time, it’s not that way, so what do you want to do about your life now? And without a doubt the me of those moons ago would have started humming Ain’t it Fun around him just for kicks, if the song existed back then….

But his answer revealed itself in how he showed up to his life, or rather, how he let life happen to him unaware, and mostly reactive. Likewise, we reveal the same. And I don’t necessarily mean our circumstances but rather how we handle them. There are plenty of How-To’s with instructions for molding yourself to fit into someone else’s perception of what you should be, and not enough reminders that simply say “In A World Where You Can be anything… Be Yourself”. From there we can work on being the best version of ourselves as possible. That way, no matter what is going on outside, you’re cool, calm, and collected on the inside. Yeah, templates are nice, helpful even. But they will never truly hold the key, or the magic wand to make everything alright in our lives…

This learning, this growing, this being, in this seemingly ordinary life, is truly a daring adventure. Ain’t it fun? :)

Until next time…Peace!

 

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Something From “Nothing” Reflections on Herstory

storytime

Why do we love the story of the underdog? You know, that one really determined person who against all odds surpasses expectations and comes out a winner. What is it about that person that makes us want, so much so, to see them finally “make it.” That is up until they actually do, and continue to do so over and over again no longer an underdog but a full-fledged champion (same background, same story). And what is it about that very same person who had the nerve, guts, and glory to rise from the ashes and step into the spotlight of “oohs and ahhs” in turn recieve “have you forgotten where you came froms” and “who the heck do you think you ares”?

People are funny that way sometimes.

Let’s say you’re an artist and life is your canvas, you create and shape things, and color outside the proverbial lines from time to time. There will be some who love what you do, love what it represents to their existence, love that you are creating things, and maybe even love you. Then there will be others who fear those same things; it makes them uncomfortable when you don’t fit in with their comfortable. And fear makes people do things, things that make those on the receiving end of that fear have knee jerk reactions  and then the lyrics to “All Along the Watchtower” make perfect sense and March becomes Women’s History Month.

Life is interesting that way sometimes.

It was not too long ago that we as women had to rise out of the ashes while listening to the “who the heck do you think you ares” just to get the chance to vote. We’re still in the ring. Fighting everyday, sometimes as a collective, most times individually (and depending on the results that too becomes for the collective) having the nerve, guts, and glory to show up to our own lives, making champions over circumstances, and pointed fingers telling us that we forgot where we came from and to stay in our place. Leaning in or demanding that we be accepted and respected if we choose to lean out or lean back, or lean to the side…

And when I think on all of this and how it applies to ordinary life and the way I’m choosing to live it. I think, screw it! Why ask for permission? May as well be myself, may as well create my own luck, may as well let the naysayers keep on yapping. I’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Herstory and the many herstories before has taught me that that’s when real change begins.

 

Until next time…Peace!

 

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