On the Path to A Heroine’s Journey

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Today is Memorial Day here in America. It’s a day we’ve come to set aside as a day to honor the men and women who lost their lives as a service to their country.

Today more than anything, I felt even more in tune with the message from the shadow work I’ve been researching and experimenting with. You see, many of the men in my family have served in the military; my younger brother is actually currently on his 3rd deployment.

When I think about the courage and bravery it takes to voluntarily sign over your life to a country of folks who don’t know you, some don’t care about you outside of your uniform, and most won’t ever get the honor of knowing just how beautiful you really are, I feel there is no excuse for not taking a chance on ourselves.

Taking a chance on ourselves looks different for each person, but I believe all of us take a chance on ourselves when we set aside time to get acquainted with our whole selves, including the parts that make us very uncomfortable. When we do that we position ourselves to make mindset shifts. One of my own mindset shifts, was a move from “I am a no good person, unable to love and not worthy of love” to “I am enough and that “enoughness” means that I am both loving and loveable”. And you know what happens when your mindset shifts? You develop new habits, because you want to cultivate this new belief system, and when new habits form, your life literally changes.

Being the heroine of your own story does take courage, and bravery. Though unlike our heroic soldiers in the military, it’s take a lot of “ordinary courage” as Brene Brown puts it, to make for pretty extraordinary living. Ordinary courage is pretty scary because it means letting down our defense systems just enough to walk outside of our self-imposed cages of limitations and embrace our gifts of imperfection- those hidden gifts inside the very qualities we loath so much about ourselves and therefore each other.

If you feel like something is missing, if you are trying decide whether or not the path your on isn’t really your own, if you feel unfulfilled and not sure why…don’t worry it’s just your inner superheroine inside ready to burst out onto the scene and take you for a ride of your life…and because you won’t be the only one riding it, your 1st quest should you choose to accept, is to be open to receive guidance and help when you need it.

Until next time…

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Set Yourself Free

caged

I’m not a huge fan of pop music. It feels like it’s an amalgamation of the kind of music that captured and expressed cultural movements. I’ve never felt the heartbeat of society in pop music…more like the music was a diversion *shrugs* However, being that I am a visual learner, I do appreciate the videos that accompany the catchy songs. Every once in awhile, I’ll hear a song that makes me wonder what kind a video could express what the song is trying to say, and every once in awhile, I come across what some would consider controversial videos.

Recently, I watched the video for Elastic Heart by Sia on YouTube. While, I was understanding to why a lot of people were really uncomfortable with the presentation I couldn’t help but notice a pattern of her using the young dancer, Maddie to represent what seems to me like inner-child work interpretation.

The very first thing I thought when watching the video was that it represented the cage of self-imposed limitations, a concept I’m currently reading about.

I saw two aspects of a personality, but my main focus was on the child that wants to behave in ways that may not be socially acceptable, that wants to express herself, that wants to be free and wants full cooperation and willingness to obtain said freedom.

I saw that she could only be free and whole when both aspects of her personality walked out the cage together as one healed and fully integrated soul. Otherwise, we have a bunch of children playing all grown up, those working 9-5s and 5 to 9s just to get by, those heading major corporations, those who are deciding whether or not certain people should have access to education that could actually give them a chance to get out of the systems that are inherently catch-22…all of them yearning to be free.

What I was most curious about was whether the underlying message I interpreted from the video was triggering a reaction to the child still trapped inside our own personal self-imposed imprisonments of the soul.

And if that was the case, would we be willing to let our yearning lead us to living an uncaged life and have us swinging from the chandeliers, (kidding, just kidding I couldn’t help it) or stay put and deal with the constant uncomfortably comfort of the dull stinging grey existence. And if you chose living and freedom, I suppose the next question after that would be… how bad do you want it?

Until next time…Peace!

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What’s Holding You Back?

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{Intro: Heads up, I know most people who draft up content publishing calendars don’t always reveal the theme they’ll be centering their posts on but I decided to go ahead and share it with you.  Basically I can kind of publicly keep myself focused since I’m trying to break my habit of “I’ll write whatever comes to my mind at the moment”  that I’ve somehow carried into my subscriber content for my main business which is not the best idea when trying to be consistent. So yeah, I better shape up! (The next habit to work on…writing posts in enough time to have an editor get to it before I hit publish-one day ya’ll!) Anyhoo…

Let me catch you up. So, January was about mindset and motivation, February was a series on entrepreneurship where I focused on artists, March was “let music be my muse” and I had to write a post inspired by lyrics to a song, (read those again you’ll see the song references), April was about Awareness it was meant to be more light-hearted to prepare for this month…I am going to pretty much be doing reflection posts around the shadow work I’m currently researching and experimenting with. Ultimately the idea is to actually to get to a place of talking about self-compassion, forgiveness, and healing. Ok you’re all caught up! Fin}

We can really be hard on ourselves, almost to the point that sending out S.O.S signals because of our daily life grind feels weak.  Not only weak, but it puts us in a position where we have to convince ourselves that “this is normal” and “push through it” because “everyone has these issues”. So we suppress what we’re really feeling, deny ourselves, and think something is “wrong” with us, because apparently, it’s just our imagination…once again…running away.

And so we carry this mental baggage like it’s a badge of honor,  and then we shun anyone who has the nerve and the guts to wear their hearts on their sleeves. How dare they be vulnerable, and emotional? Who the heck wants to read about the dark side of the moon? They reveal everything we’ve been trying to rid ourselves of and in such a way that triggers thunder bolts and lighting in our hearts. “Unforgivable!” “That is so rude” “I cannot believe they did that…I wouldn’t do that…I am better than, I am more, I am not weak…like them”.

So when we show up to do the work, we are a shell of a person, trying to keep up with what we think would get approval, what we think will get us noticed, and have a chorus of “amens” to whatever we have to say. Because we’re “right” we’ve been practicing being “right” and “good” and “perfect” our whole lives after all, and when we aren’t we hide. We hide behind I don’t care, we hide by shifting the judgments, we hide and keep on grinding covering up our undesirables, hiding the skeletons in closets we long forgot we had…hoping, praying no one discovers what’s on the other side of the door.

And because of that, we hold ourselves back.  We’re not ready to launch because any mistake we could possibly make is unacceptable. We don’t want to put ourselves “out there” because… what if we’re really, truly seen? What if we actually have this success of our dreams and blow it? Or, what if someone actually listens to what we’re not verbally saying, and hear our skeletons rattling? What will they think of us? What if it’s found out that we are not good enough underneath our French manicures and cushy jobs? What if deep down we are everything and everyone we’ve come to judge so harshly? That homeless man, that self-centered teen, that foolish gossip queen, that incompetent neighbor, that weird emo chick…all the things we hate about them, all the things that make us uncomfortable about who they are, all the things we’ve been programmed to deem unworthy, all the characteristics we have sworn never to be- we are capable of being, or have been, and we are ashamed.

And so, we stay in our set place, agree with those who give us peace by justifying our “rightness” and “acceptable”. And we wonder why we can’t move forward in our purpose, why we struggle with authenticity when we’re refusing to listen, we’re refusing to learn and to grow.

Until next time…Peace!

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Seeing Yourself In Your Dreams Come True

dreamcatcher

I must confess, I am a dreamer. I get so lost in my dreams, that I sometimes forget to take care of myself…like get at least 6 hours of sleep kind of take care of myself. For most of my life, I’ve resented this about myself. Dreamers are lazy, dreamers are lost causes because they don’t get nothing done. So, I became a doer. I needed to be doing something, anything so that I wouldn’t be called a useless dreamer. And because I suppressed my dreams, I stopped dreaming of all the good things that made dreamers something positive, something more socially acceptable, if they had a breakthrough of course; a visionary. What’s worse, when I was told it was ok, (let that sink in for a second) to envision things, and instructed to then place these images of my visions on boards and such, naturally I resisted because well, why dream?

So, now with permission to dream, guess what I saw…good things for everyone else but me. That’s how you end up climbing ladders and finding that it’s leaning against the wrong building.(I believe that was Dave Ramsey who wrote that.)That’s how you end up moving your ladder to the next building, and then the next, and then the next.

I don’t think it’s wrong to help build up someone else’s dream. I believe there’s possibility in every encounter and every situation to uplift and learn from one another. But we do ourselves and those like us an injustice when we leave our own dreams out of the equation…when we don’t see ourselves in our highest light.

I am all onboard team get into action mode. But I don’t think we need to be rebels without a cause when we are essentially working towards a much in common goal-having a purposeful year (like every year) and fulfilling life. That life with purpose, that vision, that dream come true involves all of us, all of us seeing ourselves in that vision, in our dreams come true.

What does that mean practically speaking? It means seeing yourself 1st as someone who can own that dream home and indeed be debt free. Seeing yourself 1st as someone who is worthy of the prices you charge or the raise you deserve not because you were coached or mentored into it but because you believe you are worth every penny. Seeing yourself 1st as that Best-selling author, or that singer accepting her 1st grammy, or that loving mother who is still her husband’s “Signed, sealed, and delivered” so many years and stretch marks later, yet still herself-a woman, in the mix, or even that second chance at romance this time knowing how to love and be loved and even throwing in all that jazz that women like to read about in fiction novels just because…why not be a dream come true?

Practically speaking, it starts with a dream and yes, we, the dreamers are worthy…even dreamers are enough.

Until next time…Peace!

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Starting Your Journey Just As You Are Right Now

 

pathway

How many times have you found yourself saying, that you’ll try again next time?  That you’ll do better starting tomorrow, or next week, next month, next year? Now, how many times have you rinsed and repeated that phrase every single time that next whatever came rolling around? Personally, I’ve practiced this habit more times than I could count…

Then finally one day, I began asking myself why. Why do I keep self-sabotaging? It had to be that, I recognized the common symptoms; they usually looked like procrastination-itis, and such, so why? Did I really not want to try again or do better?

I really began to contemplate my answers, scribbled down whatever random thought that came to my mind in my journal, beat myself up about my “lack of” and kept going about my day, still not do anything about anything. Then one day, I stopped ignoring the things I didn’t want to look at about myself and whatever it was I didn’t do that I was supposed to do…

When digging for my own why(s) I found that most of the time, my mirror of truth revealed that if I was going to triumph over the same old symptoms, I needed help. But, I felt guilty that I needed help. I felt guilty that I constantly fell short on the “Strong Woman” label, the so called “positive” stereotype I should be. So naturally, that led me to more stinking thinking, which led me to feeling and eventually becoming stuck. I knew that if I was going to breakthrough these thoughts, and feelings, I needed to breakdown my walls of guilt, pride, and fear (they seemed like good places to start).

Now here’s where we sometimes miss our lesson. We work to breakdown, while also thinking we need to tear down and become something new, something other than who we are because, well, the old us wasn’t cutting it. We learn our why but neglect to own up to our part in the process that brought us to our present “stuckness”. How did we get to the here and also since we’re trying to see the positive, what goodies did we bring along for the ride? You know goodies like our gifts, skills, talents, abilities…essence?

Transforming your mind, and ultimately your habits so to get busy living doesn’t have to feel so overwhelming that your dreams and goals becomes a laundry list of to-do’s that never get to-done. This is why I shared a post about hope when circumstances sometimes feel hopeless, when we sometimes feel that we ourselves are hopeless. (I figured I’d put the excerpt here again just in case you didn’t click the link).

“Yellow, a very special caterpillar, searches for more in life. She knows the pain of the climb. She knows that this is not for her. She knows the pain of the end of a relationship, but she will not let the pull of Stripe, her partner, make her do something she knows is wrong for her. Still, she does not know what is right for her. She trusts in herself that there must be something more in life. She wanders. And she meets a grey caterpillar spinning a cocoon. Thinking that he must be in trouble to be doing something so peculiar, she offers to help him. He signals that he is doing what he needs to do to be a butterfly. Yellow is excited. And when she asks what is a butterfly, she is told that this, a butterfly, is what she truly is. Puzzled, she questions how such a transformation is possible.

‘How can I believe there’s a butterfly inside…when all I see is a fuzzy worm?’

‘You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.’

‘You mean to die?’

‘…What’s really you will still live. Life is changed, not taken away.’”

Last post, I asked you are you living? This post I wanted to reassure you that you in your true splendor didn’t have to forsake who you really are in order to do so. Just start right where you are, just as you are. You wouldn’t want to take nothing from your journey, now would you?

 

Until next time…Peace!

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